Omega Phoenix: Pursued

1

Cyra

I’m standing at the edge of a steep cliff, the dark forest behind me, the tumultuous sea as far as the eye can see stretched out before me. Which, with my returning shifter abilities, is pretty damn far. I close my eyes, letting the salt air hit my face, trying to ground myself, to calm myself.

It’s been three weeks since Liam, Spence and I came here, to the centaur town. Three weeks where we’ve been getting more and more worried about Zack and Max. We’ve reached out to everyone we know, but nobody seems to have a clue where they are. It’s been exhausting and some days I wish I could do something, anything, to get them back right now. I’d do just about anything to have them with us.

Last week, during the full moon, I felt so raw, so rough. I didn’t shift into my phoenix, didn’t have the energy for it. I just didn’t know how I could shift and feel all those extra emotions, those extra strong mating bonds, when everything in my head was so messed up.

Spence shifted into his griffin and Liam shifted into his centaur and we spent most of the night huddled together at the edge of the forest, looking out over the sea, not really doing anything else. There’s something about being here, in the wide-open, the vast sea in front of me, that manages to calm me down somewhat. Even though phoenixes are fire-type creatures, looking out over the sea, the water that connects all the continents on the planet, it calms me. As if it brings Zack and Max closer to me, that they’re not far away, still nearby, connected.

“Here you are.” Spence steps closely behind me. “Liam said that you wanted to get lunch?” He slides his arm around my waist and I lean against him, closing my eyes, revelling in his warmth and closeness.

“I’m not really hungry right now.” My heart starts racing again. Just thinking of Zack and Max being out there, somewhere, and we have no idea where, it makes me anxious and nervous. Every time I get that feeling, my appetite vanishes, which is often these days.

“You need something in your stomach.” Spence tightens his arm around me slightly, his breath on my neck soothing. “Did you at least manage to sleep last night?”

I’ve been sleeping very poorly, and it seems to have only gotten worse over the last two weeks. My anxiety, my fear, it keeps waking me up, leaving me exhausted all day. “A little.” I wrap my arms around myself. “The nightmares make it hard to even want to sleep. I keep getting so anxious and that only makes things worse.”

Nightmares of some invisible force killing Zack and Max, of them drowning, left to starve in some warehouse or cave, anything my mind can come up with. I have no idea what it is, who is behind the dark force, just that I wake up with this sensation that I might never get them back, at least not alive, and I can’t deal with it. Some nights… Some nights it’s not just Zack and Max, some nights Liam and Spence are there too. Some nights, I’m left with no mates at all. Those are the worst.

Spence nods slightly, leaning his chin on my shoulder, his voice dropping. “I know. It’s been…” He sighs, his chest moving up and down slowly against my back, a steady reminder that I’ve at least got one living mate. “I guess it’s…”

“It’s more than just anxiety about where they are.” I turn around, looking up at him, at his golden eyes, which look almost a dull light brown right now, dull from the pain and exhaustion. “I feel like… Like it’s more about being away from them than not knowing where they are precisely. Like being apart from them for too long is why I’m feeling like this.” My voice falters, my throat closing up with tears, always so close to the surface these days.

He closes his eyes and gives me a soft kiss on my forehead. “We’ll find them. We have to.”

“Will it be on time?” I wrap my fingers in his shirt, holding on, forcing the tears down. Not now. “What happens if we’re apart for too long?”

Spence tenses, swallowing hard. “It’ll be the same as losing your Alpha…” His voice is rough now, low. “If this goes on for too long, you’ll go through the same experience as if they’d have died, even if they’re actually alive somewhere out there.” He puts his forehead against mine, our breaths mingling in the cold winter air. “This is why it’s not a good idea to separate Alphas and Omegas. If they’re apart for too long…”

I nod quickly, nearly headbutting him, before I hide my face against his chest. If we’re apart for too long, our bodies panic, we start feeling bad. We need each other. After Alphas and Omegas are mated, they can’t be separated from each other for weeks and weeks at a time, and definitely not for months.

I’ve not seen Max and Zack in almost six weeks. It’s unnatural for Alphas and Omegas to be apart for this long, especially so soon after having been mated and during the mating season on top of that.

There are a few Omegas in heat in the centaur town right now. I’ve only slightly noticed it, but both Spence and Liam have complained about not wanting to go outside when too many of the centaurs are out and about, because it doesn’t feel right for them. Not that they respond to it in a ‘need to mate the Omega’ way but once an Alpha mates an Omega, the scent of other Omegas becomes unappealing to them. Maeve, the Beta centaur we’re staying with, said that it’s normal for Alphas to feel like this so soon after having mated their Omega and that it will go away over time.

I guess Spence and Liam are just not used to it, not having gone through the mating season before while being mated. They said it’s been getting better in the last days.

We’ve spent a lot of time at the beach for the last week or so, just to be away from the centaur town and because we needed the openness, since we’re finally no longer locked inside the stupid apartment in the middle of the city.

* * *

“Do you like these?” Dec holds up a pair of cotton pants. “They’re the right size, but they’re not really my thing.”

We’re in the walk-in closet in Dec and Maeve’s house.

Maeve is the Beta daughter of the head of the centaur clan where we’re staying. She and her Omega husband took us in when arrived, since Maeve is an old friend of Liam.

It’s a little calmer here than in the house of the head of the clan, where people are constantly coming and going. And having no other Alphas around seemed like a good idea right now, since Spence and Liam are a little on-edge.

Between me being pregnant, us being on the run from what feels like the entire shifter world and Zack and Max being missing… Spence and Liam had to take a couple of time-outs. Which is easier to do here than it was back in the city, or if we’d been staying at the house of the head of the clan, as they can just step out of the back of the house and take a walk in the forest.

“I’m glad we’re the same size.” I smile at Dec as I take the pants, running my hands over the fabric, it’s so soft. “Yeah, I think this is a good idea. Thanks.”

It turns out, it’s not a good idea to wear clothes that aren’t made with natural fibres when you’re a pregnant phoenix shifter who’s having trouble keeping their emotions under control. The ones I was wearing this morning have… Ehhh… They’ve got a couple of melted patches in them now. At first, I was worried that the melted fabric might stick to my skin, because those would have created some nasty burns. But as they melted, they got a little patchy and a little crunchy in places, but it didn’t seem to stick to me or burn me, luckily.

I hold the pants out in front of me, frowning at them. “I guess I might want to invest in some more fire-proof clothes… Or I’ll go through your closet in just a few days or weeks.”

Dec lets out a soft laugh and hands me a stack of shirts. “I think that’s a good idea, especially because you’ll be starting to grow soon-ish.”

“Ugh.” I put the pants and the shirts on the dresser next to me. “I thought that seven weeks would be too soon to see anything. That I was just making things up in my head. That I was just gaining a little baby weight. Or that it’s because we’ve been having massive meals since we got here, but…” I sigh. “Turns out, when you’re pregnant with four babies, you start to show much sooner.”

I flatten the shirt over my stomach, sliding down to where I can feel a slight bump. It’s nothing compared to what I’ll look like in a couple more weeks, but the midwife told me, and showed me, that the little bump really is from the pregnancy and not just from eating well. Though that definitely helped.

The door to Dec and Maeve’s bedroom opens and Maeve’s Omega mum, the wife of the head of the clan, steps inside, holding up a laptop as she makes her way over to us. “I need your size so I can finish the order.” She smiles at me.

“I’m the same size as Dec.” I shrug, not really sure what the problem is.

She gives me a bigger smile, a twinkle in her eyes. “I never had to order bras for Dec, but I thought you’d probably appreciate a few that you can wear in the coming months.”

I feel my cheeks flush as Dec laughs and I smack in his direction. “Right… I… Ehh…” I’ve not been wearing a bra much lately, I’ve already outgrown the few I had with me.

“You might want to consider getting a couple. As your body grows, you’ll probably appreciate the support.” Maeve’s mum puts the laptop down on the dresser.

“Right.” I nod. “I’ll… Ehhh… I’ll pick them out myself.”

Hell. This is awkward. I’ve always ordered my own bras and underwear, even when I was a teenager. I’ve never had anyone choose them for me and I’m not keen on starting now.

“Of course. That was why I came here.” She laughs. “I’m not really comfortable choosing underwear for others. You should definitely pick them out yourself. I just wanted to show you a website that makes great natural-fibre pregnancy underwear, and it’s even a little cute.”

“I don’t know if Liam and Spence care if her underwear is pretty or not.” Dec laughs and I smack in his direction again, managing to hit him on the arm and he just laughs harder. “You should totally see your face…”

I groan, the heat on my cheeks almost burning, and I quickly grab the laptop. “I’ll do this elsewhere, in quiet. Alone.”

I leave the room and instead go to the bedroom I’ve been sharing with Spence and Liam, who luckily aren’t here right now. I’m not really a prude. I’m fine being naked around other shifters, mostly, but sometimes…

I’m just not used to living in a clan. Especially not one where everyone seems to know everything and where everyone offers their ‘help’, no matter how awkward the subject. It’s nice, most of the time, but it’s still hard to get used to.

I didn’t grow up like that, my parents weren’t like that, open and warm and welcome, and when I lived as a human, I was always on my own. Living in the centaur territory is a big change from all of that and while I appreciate it most of the time, sometimes I just need to be on my own.

Like right now. At first, I felt like I should have changed more sooner, that my body was still too ‘normal’ for how different my life had become. But now I feel the opposite. It feels like my body changing, showing my pregnancy, growing in new ways, it’s too fast and too soon. It’s another thing changing while the rest of my life is still feeling much too new and unsteady.

I wish I could stop time, pause everything, and just take a few moments to myself, but that’s not possible. Time keeps ticking, and I’m fighting to keep up with it. Fighting and, some days, I lose.